First off, my birthday went off without a hitch. It turned into a grown folks field day event, with sightings of football, frisbee, croquet, kickball, volleyball and most importantly, pinata whacking. My boss was kind enough to fill the pinata with tiny bottles of booze, (one of the many perks of working at a bar) which were consumed rampantly and with a vigor rarely seen amongst my well mannered cronies. We had a lovely evening, and as expected I was the picture of responsibility, even making it to the Portland Bridgepedal the next morning at 7 A.M. It should be noted that riding a bike 35 miles while stinking drunk is hard and confusing.
Next item of business: We got a dog!!!
My girlfriend and I had been discussing the possibility of getting a dog for a while, when one day on a whim, I drove to Longview and bought one at the Humane Society. He is the cutest widdle poopsy woopsy in the whole world, and you just want to squeeze him and.....anyway, I digress.
His name is Augustus Megatron (a strong and proud Christian name). He is half black lab, half beagle. The other half is probably great white shark judging from the marks on my arms and ankles and toes. To all of you mathemophites worried about my fractioneering, your doubt is not misguided, just unappreciated.
Everyone will be happy to know that he is smarter than everyone working at Cingular's call bank, and is getting close to being house trained. This is great news, because if anyone is going to pee on a rug in my house, it is ME!
Here is his resume, if you are considering hiring a dog:
SKILLS:
Eating stuff he shouldn't eat (bugs, rugs, other gross stuff that even I find truly appalling)
Pooping
Peeing
Peeing in the house
Eating food
Drinking water
Biting Bri
Biting Me (then making me feel bad for yelling at him, jerk)
Contemplating the advantages and disadvantages of sniffing other dogs asses
Sniffing other dogs asses
Hiding under the deck when he is not supposed to and getting doused by the hose (ha ha, sucka!)
Sleeping in the way of where we walk
All in all he is going to be a fantastic pooch and a lot of fun to have around.
Finally, I am really interested in going camping multiple times over the next couple of weeks, so if anyone has suggestions of great camp sites close to Portland, please send them my way.
September is music month for me in PDX, so there will be many concert reviews coming soon.
