Monday, November 19, 2007

Talked to Renee

Great News!

I talked to my cousin Renee (the artist), and she said that not only does she have "The pie that no one would eat at Thanksgiving", and it's called "The hand that no one would eat at Thanksgiving". She is going to scan them I believe and send them up asap. Let the morbid Thanksgiving art rememberings commence. SUCCESS!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Turkey Art for Non Giants

The day following Halloween is the greatest day of the year, because it marks the beginning of the Thanksgiving season, and more importantly it gives me free reign to make Thanksgiving art with wild abandon. While I realize that the masses have little or no (mostly no) interest in making holiday art in any form, I have embraced and nurtured this ability to perhaps it's peak. It hard to say as these are uncharted waters.

My Thanksgiving art hankerin' started as most do, with the revelation that if traced properly, my hand looks remarkably like a Meleagris gallopavo, or to the layman, a turkey lurkey lurkey. see below. Notice the similarities in the eyes.



While I have had many Thanksgiving art endeavors (fiascos), the most notable to date, my Thanksgiving magnum opus so to speak, came with the help of my cousin Renee (the artist), when we created the water-color masterpiece, "The Pie That Nobody Would Eat On Thanksgiving." Due to it's graphic nature, it was obviously censored within a very short time of its unveiling, mostly because it was "gross and inappropriate among civilized people" and "no one wants to look at poop on a pie" Poppycock says I. These people wouldn't know good art if it bit them in the face.

It was around this time that I acquired my Thanksgiving attire that would become a holiday standard for years to come. While unearthing lost treasures, or "clothes that people died in" at the thrift store, I stumbled across the Gobbling Gourmets, a terrible cannibalistic peek into the future. This shirt became a mainstay in fashionable Thanksgiving attire for the subsequent 6-8 years. Needless to say, when I got a girlfriend and had to attend Thanksgiving in the company of decent people, I was forced to retire the shirt for the "big day." See below.



This year I decided to get a good head start on the Thanksgiving art rush by starting on November 1st. This year's initial endeavor was a tremendous success. I call it, "turkey art a la pumpkin with coasters, markers, tape, and staples." I figured that this would be the extent of my holiday expressions this year, but alas I was mistaken.



With the help of my sister and the "booger picking tiny people who suck at glueing," I created Gobble Goggles. Gobble Goggles take Thanksgiving art across genres into the fashion world. Now those with Thanksgiving art that merely hangs on refrigerators will be scoffed at. What is more chic than wearing a giant turkey on your face? No, really! I don't know. See below.



As a final note, I thought that this should be noted merely as pure coincidence:



If YOU have any Thanksgiving art that you would care to contribute, please submit in the comments section.

My Life With The Chore Chart

As I am essentially a useless lump taking up space in a perfectly good house, it seems only reasonable that the other party inhabiting said house would expect me to contribute to the care and maintenance of the house and grounds on occasion. While I see and understand the reason for this, I am still bewildered at the fact that I am expected to enjoy cleaning and theoretical would find it rewarding. I do not.

After extensive research, several unsuccessful tests, and many debunked hypotheses, I have finally conceded the argument that household items do not clean themselves, and therefore, I clean them.

Now I have created a chore chart, because ADD takes hold during the day, and nothing gets accomplished despite all of my noble and valiant intentions. The chore chart, per request, details my responsibilities, as well as the day on which the task should be accomplished. NEAT. I hate schedules. (and chore charts)

All ranting aside for the moment, I saw the greatest concert last night. Stars, a band from canada, came to the united states to share the joys of eloquent electro-pop. I was very happy to be in attendance. If they make it to your neck of the woods (for my readers in Morocco) you should certainly check them out.

NEXT BLOG: Look out turkey, here comes Thanksgiving!